I Got No Routine!

I left my job at the credit union 3 weeks ago to work full-time at the business that Lynne (hence know as "the colleague") and I started 3 years ago. During that time I dabbled in the business for 4 hours during the week and part-time on the weekends. Now, I am here every day, all day and many times all evening - like now - except I am not working, I'm blogging but who is gonna fire me?

I've discovered or more truthfully have finally admitted that I am a creature of routine. I need routine, I crave routine, I function best when I have a routine. Right now I have not established my new routine and I don't like it. I cried on Monday morning because I keep losing my purse in my new work environment. For 14 years that purse went underneath my desk. Now my office is different and I don't know where to put my purse anymore. I've got no routine. See?

During our staff meeting on Tuesday, Lauren asked me if I was OK. I said, no not really. I just realized that morning I was not on vacation from my job. I am not going back. I am not going to look out my window and see the crazy people on the corner of Capitol & S. Washington. I am not going to have a cup of decaf dunkin donuts coffee in the afternoon with Bernadette in my Pike Fish Market coffee mug (thoughtful gift from Bernadette). I am not going to be able to walk 6 steps to Brandi's office and ask her what she is doing this weekend. I am not going to wander up to the 6th floor to stretch my legs & chat with Julia. The list of things that I will no longer experience on a day to day basis is both big and small. I am sad about the endings.

But here is what I am happy about leave the corporate world. I can check facebook, view pornography and sell things on eBay at 2:00 p.m. on a work day without violating policy. OK, I only have done 2 of these things. I can also take a 10 minute cat nap on my couch (although this is frowned upon). I can tell my colleague that she is really bugging the crap out of me & she is not the boss of me (also frowned upon). I can give my colleague in the kiss in the employee kitchen and it is not sexual harassment. I am learning new things like how to write a press release using the words "dynamic" and "thrilling." This is no small feat for a former HR person who most recently rewrote the tantalizing Holiday Policy and used this catchy phrase "the organization will observe the holidays recognized by the Federal Reserve." Note to other HR people who change professions and write press release - You will never ever have to use the term "your employment may be terminated" again!

I also get to work with the people I love (even if we are still working on how not to make each other crazy). I get to make decisions about my business. I help create a space for people to celebrate their happiest moments or to have fun with friends or hear good music. We have turned an old sad lonely building into a place of warmth & good spirits. These are the things to remember when I am afraid and feeling uncertain of my decision.

Peace Out