The March That Was

I have to say that I am glad to be looking back at March 2010. It was one rough month. I have been thinking of the phrase - what does not kill you makes you stronger. Not that anything that happened this month was going to kill me, its just that if we really knew what we were in for on a particular day we might just go back to bed and avoid the whole damn thing. The universe is tricky that way.

I feel like you do after a break up. You know, where you want to feel better about life and you know you will but you can not hurry the process and you can not see into the future to the exact moment when you realize you are not thinking about your ex & then you realize - oh, this pain has eased and I can actually imagine a day without thoughts about them. Then you begin to realize that you might actually flourish in a way you had not envisioned before because your life was different. Then that is what a happens and you look back and say "phew, that was some journey"

There are a lot of emotional loose strings floating around me and I am not certain which ones to grab. I feel sad about the merger. I feel sad about losing my boss of 14 years. I feel sad about my relationship with my parents. I feel sad about being middle aged. Then I am thankful for a partner I love & who I know who loves me back. I am thankful for my friends. I am thankful for all the hugs I got and gave over the last week. I am thankful for the all that I have learned in my 46 years. I am thankful for being employed, for my tax return, health insurance (that includes therapy), a smart & loving kid who is graduating from college in May. Well, that could go on and on so I think this means in the end I am coming out ahead.